FLISCORNO

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
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TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow ."
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day,
same time.
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.